So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
