just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
