I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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