I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
