oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
