dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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