i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
