She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
