: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
