he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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