do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize