He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
