My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
