butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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