Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
