I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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