I look better un-naked...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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