How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize