there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
