I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
