I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
