I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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