she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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