i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
