if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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