drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
