Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize