I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
