I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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