was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
