Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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