Where is the hickey?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
