Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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