apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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