Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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