i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
