i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize