it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
