I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize