The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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