I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Vodka?
Forever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
