white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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