so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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