He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
