ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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