i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
