i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize