You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
