The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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