How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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