I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
