after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
