Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
they call him Oral-B. enough said
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i think i just lost a toe
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
