he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize