Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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