My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
