No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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