Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
