She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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