I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
