Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
