Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
