dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
