If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
