I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
