literally had 100 drinks last night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
