smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize