He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
