Where did you get a picture of my penis
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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