You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
God, I missed his penis.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
