Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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