either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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