Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
