She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
