thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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