well I can't set my house on fire every night
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
