Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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