the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
