Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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