So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
