Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
