Little spoons don't ask big questions
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
