i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
