playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She needs sedatives and a leash
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
