Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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