She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
