so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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