there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Mom said you looked used
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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